And it struck me that I wasn’t that annoyed with U.P.S. I had decided to stay home so I wouldn’t have to go pick up the package. It was my decision. Yet, normally I would have been counting the hours, and bad TV shows I watched, wondering where the UPS man was.
Instead I used this time at home to go deeper into a long meditation this morning. My mind wouldn’t stop forming stories of future plays I want to write. But it did become quiet at some point and I was glad that the day was wide open and I had extra time to meditate. Then I worked on wedding projects, answered emails for Swami Cat, (since I take care of all his correspondence) and around 5pm waited for my honey to come home for dinner. He was stuck in traffic right near home but couldn’t get to the exit. So I had to wait some more.
While waiting I remembered a time when I hated to wait. I was furious with one ex-boyfriend for leaving me alone all day and then coming home just in time to eat and go to sleep, when he could have been home earlier. He just stopped by a friend’s to help him do some gardening or some other very nice thing that left me at home re-warming dinner.
Lately people have been telling me how proud of me they are that I “waited” for the right man to come. My Gyno actually told me this. Friends have mentioned it. I do feel very lucky, but I don’t know if you call what I was doing waiting. I was praying, begging, manifesting my life partner into existence with all my heart. So I would not call it waiting, unless maybe waiting impatiently. The very notion of “waiting” makes me think pacing, agonizing, short shallow breaths that cause one to become angry. I have had this type of waiting several times in my life.
But today no. I waited patiently. Whoa- did I just say that? One of my spiritual goals in life is to garner patience. I have never been a patient child, so my mother reminds me often.
I have a book on my bookshelf that a friend loaned me. I took it down today as I thought about this idea of waiting. It’s called The Seven Spiritual Gifts of Waiting by Holly Whitcomb. It’s such a great reminder that all good things come to those who wait. The seven gifts that she writes about are: patience, loss of control, living in the present, compassion, gratitude, humility and then trust in God. What lovely gifts. In the book she quotes one of my favorite writers, Madeleine L’Engle:
“During the two years when A Wrinkle in Time was consistently being rejected by publisher after publisher, I often went out and shouted at God. “Why don’t you let it get accepted?” But when Wrinkle was finally published, it was exactly the right moment for it, and if it had been published two years earlier it might well have dropped into a black pit of oblivion.”
Madeleine also is quoted saying that what seems a “NO” is often a prelude to a greater “YES.”
So true, so true.
Now I have to hope my friend doesn’t mind waiting a little bit longer for me to return this book. It’s only been a year and a half. What’s a little more waiting?
My question of the week is, how do you spend your waiting time?
***The first three responses to this blog posting get signed photographs from the famous Swami Cat himself.***