Monday, May 17, 2010

Comic Adventure #2 Not Yet A Saint

The Adventures of
Yoga Girl and Swami Cat
(A fictional series inspired by life’s daily lessons and
the teachings of my Guru, Rev. Jaganath Carrera.) 
*If you’d like to read part one, or have it performed live please let me know.  Hopefully some day soon it will be a video series, but for now it’s part of my blog.  I hope you enjoy.  Please send feedback or add your own life lesson of the day!)

JACKLYN’s Yoga Diary
Swami Cat asked me to keep a Yoga Diary.  He wants me to notice how much Japa and Pranayama I do.  So here I am at 5 AM in meditation.  Trying not to think about anything.  Stop thinking.  Can think about my “to-do” list later.  Right now, inhale lower belly, middle, upper, exhale upper, middle, lower.  Ah, bliss.  

6 AM            Did a full hour and a half of Hatha Yoga.  Feel great and centered.  I love the world.  Today I will give back to society.  Pick up trash.  Maybe I’ll help my neighbor by walking her dog.  Maybe I’ll go volunteer at a soup kitchen.  I’m happier than I’ve ever been.

7:30 AM  I feel great.  I am ready to share this peace with the world.  I sing Kumbaya and dance over to the fridge for some fruit and almond milk.  I’ll just whip up a quick shake before I spread the peace and joy to the world and… “Ahhhh!  Ants!”  Crawling on the countertop!  Who do they think they are?  This is my kitchen!

7:35 AM   Took a deep breath, remembered Yogic Principal of non-violence—Ahimsa.

7:37 AM Looked up on the Internet for humane organic ways to get rid of ants.
Says to spray ants with apple cider vinegar and water.  Also mentions sprinkling cinnamon in cracks—they do not like the smell of cinnamon.  Hmm, I love the smell of cinnamon.  Okay—I’ll try it.

7:45 AM  Sprayed ants with vinegar.  Smells very much like a rotting orchard in here.  But threw down gobs of cinnamon in cracks and that smells great.  Watching ants walk around drunk on apple cider, and trying to get away.  Uh oh—they won’t go back through the cracks because they hate the cinnamon.  I’ve ruined their escape exits.  They didn’t tell me to pick either cider or cinnamon on the internet!  Ahhhh!

8 AM  Felt like ants were crawling on me.  Itchy.  Took shower. 

8:30 AM  Clean and I just checked-- the kitchen is now free of ants!  Hooray for the Internet!  They really don’t like cinnamon!

8:45 AM went to wash out blender from fruit shake and surprised to find an ant family reunion in my sink!  I don’t think—I act—I turn on the faucet and watch the water rise, taking down ant by ant—Die Ants Die!  My blood boils with hate as I sweep more and more into the water.  I talk to myself.  “They shouldn’t have walked into my house.  It’s not like they have a soul.  They’re vermin.  Pests.”  Where have I heard that before?  I stop cold in my heartless tracks.  The Nazis said Jews were vermin.  That they didn’t deserve to live.  I—I am an Ant Nazi.  I am committing an ant holocaust right now.  They’re all slowly taking their last ant breath and I caused hundreds, maybe thousands of deaths in one instant.  I hate myself.  

9 AM  Leave the kitchen for a moment to regroup.  What else can I do?  I can’t let the ants live there.  I won’t be able to eat.  I won’t be able to sleep, thinking they’re crawling on me.  No, I must do something. 

9:01 AM  Swami Cat enters.  “You know, Swami Sivananda walked with a broom to wipe away bugs so that he wouldn’t even accidentally step on one.”  He scared me half to death.  I didn’t know that you he was there.  Swami Cat noticed that I jumped out of my skin and said calmly as he always does, “Yes, awareness needs work.”

9:04 AM  Well, I don’t feel as enlightened as Swamiji yet.  Maybe tomorrow.  But today I head out the door for the motels that ants check in and they don’t check out.  Makes it seem almost cozy in there.  I can’t think about it too much.  Maybe its their karma to go on to their next life and I’m helping them.

9:55 AM  Swami Cat is staring at me as I put the ant traps down.  He looks disappointed. 

9: 56 AM  I apologize to Swami Cat and the ants.  I will try for absolute Peace and acceptance tomorrow.  I’ll say my mantra as I put down the ant traps, is that better?  Oh, how hard it is to be a Yogi in the real world.  Ohm, Ohm, Ohm Shanti.

1 comment:

  1. Ooohhh, my belly hurts from laughing so much! so good!


This blog was born through the inspiration and teachings of Rev. Jaganath Carrera and The Yoga Life Society.